seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
Randomize
