she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
Randomize
