i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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