Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize