so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Randomize
