She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
Ladies don't puke and tell
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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