I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
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