Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Randomize
