my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize