true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
