it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Randomize
