He uses pillows to masturbate.
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
Randomize