my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
