That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
