You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
