drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize