just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize
