i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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