just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
PANTIES FOUND
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