guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Randomize
