I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Randomize
