you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
Pants are for mortals
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
Randomize