Having a random hookup so left but love u
the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
