Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
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