Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
Randomize