At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
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Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
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That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
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