We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
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