if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
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