I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Randomize
