so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
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