Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
