i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
Randomize
