He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
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