Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
you inspire me to be a worse person
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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