In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
