this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize