I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
