My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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