So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
I looked at my own cervix.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
Do you have feelings for this penis?
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
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