He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
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