Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
I'm always down for nudity.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
