theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
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