I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
