thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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