I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
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