you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
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