idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
Randomize
