The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
