I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
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