I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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