The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
