My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Randomize
