oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
Threesome in a minivan. New low
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
Randomize
