Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
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